Delightful Caitlin

Caitlin has always been our little delight.  With her super sweet laid back temperament, we can count on one hand the number of times she's had a melt down.  She fell easily into a schedule as a newborn, she ate great, slept great and I could leave her to entertain herself for long periods of time.  She was always fine in whatever new situation she found herself in (well, except for that one time in MOPPETS last year!) and is super easy to make happy and keep that way.  What can I say, she's easy to find delightful!

I knew it all had to come to an end eventually.

Not that she's any less of a delight in general, let me clarify.  It's just that all those easily endearing qualities are now moving over for other, more independant "I want to figure out the world my way now" toddler traits.  Wonderful.

Gone is our ever compliant daughter, in her place stands a little girl who, when I say "No" says "Yes" and when I insist "Yes!" she has to say "No!"  It's rare to greet her in the morning and find her playing just with her toys and books anymore, instead she is streaking around having apparently discovered how to free herself of her pajamas or has pulled her rocking chair over to the dresser and is unloading her sock drawer into the laundry hamper.  I'm starting to doubt my decision to put the animal wall calendar within her reach because I'm convinced one of these days the tack will become firmly embedded in my foot once she's decided to pull it off the wall.  "Go play" used to be the only thing we had to say to her to fill up all those extra hours in the day between actual "activities," but she can't help but follow me around incessantly, trying to draw me in to her play or just join in with my preoccupation.  I have tried a couple unsupervised drawing sessions but am now fearful that the crayon marks will all too soon be anywhere but the paper.  It's those slight hesitations where immediate response had been her norm that can wear a mama out!  Not to mention she's now seeking attention by sucking her thumb, swiping and sucking on Connor's paci, climbing in the exersaucer and requesting to play in the playpen.  Obviously an attempt to "regress for more attention" but honestly kid, your brother is already nine months old and you kinda missed the boat on that one!

Was she really ever that sweet? I can hear some of you asking.  Yes and yes.  She was.  She had her moments but overall nothing thusfar has prepared us for the complete shock of the actual two and a half year old stage we now find ourselves-!

She has started singing real songs with real words (and sometimes her own words!) and her vocabulary has skyrocketed.  Everyday a new phrase jumps out of her mouth and we can't help but smile.  Today at breakfast it was suddenly counting to 12 without skipping from 6 to 9 as she usually has!  She can run like the wind and loves it even more when holding hands with one of us.  She even insists on pushing Connor in the stroller on walks and "by George!" I'm not going to say no to that one!  She is the first one to point out a train whistle, siren, airplane, garbage truck, schoolbus or playground.  She is always sharing toys with Connor and bringing us "soup" to taste.  Just yesterday Grady was explaining that Grandma and Dziadiu live in Canada and for the rest of the evening she was talking about putting on her shoes and coat to "go to Canada."  Not to mention now that I've sang the Canadian anthem to her twice, everytime she hears "Canada" she starts, "Oh, Canada..."  One of her main goals is to get Connor to laugh at her antics, but she is the one who now decides how and when that will be--any prompting from us just gets the opposite reaction from her (also new to us!).

You are a delight to us, dear girl, and we are so blessed to "be on our toes" as your parents!

Parenting Well

Today I am thinking about parenting styles. And parenting goals. And how to stay level headed through the amazingly long term process it all turn out to be.

If you were to describe your parenting style, what would it be? I'm familiar with a few specific philosophies--Love and Logic, Attachment Parenting, Growing Kids God's Way--as well as authors like Dr. Spock, Dr. Sears, etc. I don't want to discuss the ins and outs of each style, as everyone has their opinions and some will even fight to the death about why theirs is the "right" way-! I'm just thinking about the day to day process we all go through to parent our kids.

My current challenge is having an increasingly busy and independent two-year-old and then an equally busy eight-month-old. Both developing at their own pace, both with different needs, both with different challenges...and that wears me out. Parenting sure can be tiring at times, can't it?

It's true that at this season in my life I need to devote most of my energy to parenting my children. Nothing else has the long term repercussions this will. I need to be able to free up my schedule so I have enough energy to parent well, whatever that means to me. What does that mean to me?

Parenting well. I suppose I feel well about things when I am having those especially patient days or when Caitlin seems to "get it." When I don't feel so overwhelmed by other things that I can't maintain some structure in our home. For example, with napping. Or mealtimes accompanied by manners. But is that all?


I know some people won't agree with me as I continue on this topic, and that's ok with me. But at least for us, I feel well as a parent when we are being consistent with our expectations of Caitlin's behavior. And I notice she seems to feel well too. She knows her boundaries and feels secure in them.

I so appreciate having come across information while pregnant with Caitlin that guided us as parents to "parent" from the beginning. Not "befriend," not "dictate," but lovingly parent and guide, which is the principle we have stuck to with both our children. We've helped both kids regulate their sleeping and eating schedules and from there have moved into our own "style" of keeping the long term goals in mind in whatever situation we come across. I find so much benefit in this idea!

Here's where we're at with two-year-old Caitlin: she has started wanting to decide what she gets to do each day, kind of her own "activities planner." She'll suggest things to me and often her suggestions are not bad ideas! But what's weird is that I find if I accommodate her ideas and don't throw in any of my own, she starts to think she's the boss. It translates to wanting specific foods for supper and wanting to choose exactly what to wear and wanting to have her hair styled a certain way and even telling me what Connor needs at any given moment! These things in and of themselves aren't that bad, even cute at times, but they add up to one spoiled brat at the end of the day, who, in the end isn't very happy either. When I start "parenting" her again and reigning in her schedule and making some decisions for her, she turns into this sweet, content, "happy as a lark" little girl. Not that there's not some protesting along the way (she still thinks she knows best) but she sure is happiest knowing she's not in control, someone else is.

Isn't that how it is with us and God?

I'm so glad knowing I don't have to control my life...because ultimately I can't anyway! There are so many other factors that interact with me that it's literally impossible to try to get a certain outcome from things. Obviously, there are things I do have responsibility for and as with parenting Caitlin, I want to grant her areas where she has responsibility too, when she is ready. But for goodness sake, she's only two! Should she be deciding what her day looks like? She's not ready for that. Should I give her the responsibility of saying "Please" and "Thank you" on her own without prompting? She's not ready for that. What about deciding how to appropriately dress for the weather? She's not ready for that. My point is, there are obvious things as parents that we understand our kids shouldn't be responsible for just yet, but then in other areas it's all too easy to allow them freedom beyond their capabilities, causing them confusion and anxiety.

I heard something recently that really rings true with me: "If you are constantly correcting [your child], there is too much freedom." Doesn't that make sense? Who wants to have a home characterized by constant correction or as some say, "redirection"? I feel well as a parent when I can say more positive things to Caitlin than negative. But you're thinking, "how? she's only two!" This is where this principle applies. It takes more initial work on my part (and consistency) but creates such a cherished and peaceful atmosphere when effective boundaries are set. She is content and her creativity flourishes. She learns to fore go her wishes (and who doesn't agree that we all have to learn that to function in the real world as adults), respect and submit to someone in charge (anyone ever had a boss? important skill to have), and in turn I feel well about the skills she is learning.

For example, when I accept as a parent that it's my job to teach her to use manners, I am not frustrated when she doesn't say it herself. Instead of becoming irritated, saying, "What do you SAY???" I can instead relax and remind her, "Say, 'More please!'" Instead of running around the house after her when she gets into something that's not ideal to play with, I teach her initially to not touch certain things. I don't give her the responsibility of having to decide what things are safe and what things aren't, I expect her to listen to me and everyone is blessed by that obedience. Some people would call that "limiting" her or "hindering" her development--I call it parenting with the long term goal in mind; parenting well.

I will wait upon the Lord.

"Never, ever in our wait, is God inactive. NEVER. We have got to trust that if ever he puts a stay on something, if ever he has put a hold on something, if ever he has called us to wait upon Him: SOMETHING is up. Something is happening in the heavenlies. There is someway that things on earth are coming into the will of the things in Heaven. And we have got to trust Him.

“Isaiah 40:31 in the KJV: ‘But those who wait on the LORD, Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.’

“What is more exhausting than waiting? What? And here scripture says if we wait upon the Lord, he is going to renew all our strength. Whereas to us it (waiting) feels the more we wait the weaker we feel. (The Lord knows) we will lose our strength, our strength will be depleted if we wait upon ‘The Thing.’ When we wait upon a person, a thing, an event, we will lose; but if your waiting on the Lord, you will renew your strength: you’ll renew strength, you’ll mount up as eagles. Do you see the difference? We’re waiting on the THING. We’re waiting on the...(fill in the blank) wedding day, we’re waiting on that baby, were waiting on that promotion, waiting on that provision... you fill in the blank. And these are huge things to wait on, important things, noble things to pray for and to want but if all we’re doing is DAY after DAY waiting on the thing, waiting on the event: we’re depleted because the event, person, thing doesn’t come. Wait upon the Lord, WAIT UPON THE LORD. Sit as a watchman on the wall and wait upon the Lord. With expectancy and anticipation that the longer you, God, are taking the harder you are working and I cannot wait to see what you are orchestrating in the heavenlies. The longer we wait the more we’re to renew our strength. Tell the Lord in prayer...IT waits but cause me to wait on you and not just the thing. Renew my strength. Listen to the words of Habakkuk 2:3: ‘For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.”

- transcribed from Beth Moore's "Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman."

Pressing On...

As fall starts up here are some of the things I'm looking forward to becoming part of my schedule:

• more regular meal planning
• cooking a whole feast and hosting friends for Canadian Thanksgiving (Oct 12th!)
• being part of the leadership team of MOPS
• getting back into the swing of blogging and posting pictures and videos (and catching up from the summer!)
• learning more about parenting by taking a "Growing Kids God's Way" class
• making foods like pumpkin bread and butternut squash soup
• watching everyone's antics and the beautiful scenery on Survivor
• the last few weeks of being part of our CSA (fresh, local, organic veggies every week!)
• growing in wisdom with other wives as we start our "Created to Be His Helpmeet" study
• spending more time on the kids' scrapbooks
• enjoying our beautifully renovated kitchen/dining room and exterior siding
• watching Connor learn and grow and learn and grow (most recently, waving and saying, "papapa"!)
• hanging out with Caitlin who is just blossoming into such the sweetest little girl
• figuring out the intricacies of what it means to love another in the best way for them at any given moment
• sharing the ups and downs of life and living in true community with both those in our small group and our close friends
• finally getting to wear that Gap sweater I bought at the outlet for ridiculously cheap in July

And on that note...goodnight!

Nothing Cuter

There's nothing cuter than a baby in a bucket! (well, except maybe his wrinkly baby feet.) Especially when he's happy to be there!

Silly People

If you've ever wondered where I get some of my silliness from, look no further...
Here's how this "photo session" went:
(1) top left
Me: "Hey! you guys match today! let's take a picture. you both go stand over there."

(2) middle left
"Ha Ha, very funny grandpa..." (he was facing backwards)

(3) right
"Ok, ok, turn around!" (notice they both did)

(4) bottom left (needs to be seen up close for maximum enjoyment)
Grandma keeps Grandpa in line.

Miss you two!!

The Future Hope Project

Some of the moms in my MOPS group raised money to put together packages for something called the Future Hope Project. It's a very simple, straightforward way to provide new mothers and their babies with basic supplies during their first days and weeks together. It's an ongoing need so I hope to put more of these together in future months too. Thanks to everyone who contributed!

"Attention Target Shoppers"

In the past couple months I've been trying my hand at saving money on groceries with coupons. One thing that's made my efforts so effective is sites like "Attention Target Shoppers," which is a blog by a lady who writes about the best Target deals of each week, pointing out available coupons which are usually combined with sale items. Because of sites like these, I saved over $50 on my last Target visit! I am excited to continue this trend!

Red, White, and Blueberries

It's the time of year when the schedule is filled to the brim with blog-worthy happenings--so much so that the actual blogging about said events is falling by the wayside! Ironic. I can't wait to share pictures and stories about everything as things settle down after this weekend. Hope you are all enjoying the beautiful summer weather (except for you Nat, since it's your winter there Down Under) and living life to the fullest right now, just like we are!

enjoying the festivities with a patriotic breakfast this morning

Happy Canada Day (on Wednesday), and Happy 4th of July today!

The One With the Dead Ant

Our two year old is starting to put things together...

The other day I noticed one of those huge black ants making its way across our kitchen floor. We were in the middle of eating and in an effort to not make a big spectacle of "squishing bugs" (in fear that this will become Caitlin's new favorite outdoor hobby) I leaned over and grabbed a small box acting as a temporary home for our switchplate covers and firmly enough set it down on top of the intruder. Done and done.

Well who knew that one of the first things Caitlin would notice the next morning at breakfast was the dead ant on the floor, now exposed since the switchplate box was moved during Grady's continued work on the kitchen reno from the night before. That girl spots everything, I should have known.

Here's how the conversation went:

Caitlin: "Bug!"
Me: from across the room, thinking she sees a live one, "Where?"
C: pointing, "Bug!"
M: walking over, "Ohhh, yeah...that's an ant." pause. "It's dead."
C: "Dead."
M: "Yeah, dead. I squished it."
C: "Squished it."

I go back to making breakfast...then some minutes later:
Caitlin: "Hurt?"
Me: "What hurts?"
C: pointing, "Bug."
M: "The bug hurts? Ohh, umm, you mean when I squished it?"
C: "Yeah, squished it."
M: not knowing how to respond, "Umm, I don't know if the bug hurt...I mean, maybe..."
C: "Bug. Hurt. Squished. Owie."
M: *totally* not knowing what to say, "It's ok Caitlin, he's dead and doesn't hurt now."

Some more minutes later...
Caitlin: "I kiss it better?"

Blech. Let's just say we cleared that one up right away.